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the air is changing. just the other day i finally shut my bedroom window and took out the fan which, only weeks before, had been absentmindedly blowing stale, hot air around my stuffy attic room. last night i half-woke bleary eyed shivering in my briefs and an aframe and shuffled to the closet to pull out my faux-down comforter before bundling up and falling back to sleep.
the leaves are undeniably beginning their change from greens to fiery orange and red hues, some already crisp and brown in broken trails on the ground. and while global warming may allow for a few more random days in the high 70′s, by nighttime an inevitable chill hangs in the air and the layering of a hoodie is necessary after the sun sets.
this is all to say, summer has past in new england and we are quietly slipping into fall- so naturally, in fact, that i have already forgotten the taste of salt water on my tongue and eagerly await apple picking, sweater-wearing, and spending the chilly weekend mornings hidden under the covers with a good book.
since the seasons are indeed changing, it seems as though it is time to write once again…
my summer was spent working, traveling, and healing. after surviving an emotionally dreadful spring i made a conscious decision to begin working my way back to myself; prioritizing self-care, spending more time actively doing things for and by myself, setting goals and making plans for where i want to be and how i am going to get there, surrounding myself with people who are both good to and for me, and forming a new, exciting, hott, unexpectedly sweet and entirely lovely connection with a beautiful lady.
this has all been a long time coming, and while i do not believe that “everything happens for a reason,” i do believe that things unfold as they are meant to [a seemingly fine line, but a distinct one nonetheless]. i don’t think the undoing of my relationship with alexander was necessary for me to learn this lesson in self-respect and self-care, but i do think that it helped me to bridge that gap that had been left open far too long between intending to be/do better and turning that intention into action.
i don’t believe i will ever really be “done” with this plan to a better self [because one can/should never reach personal perfection, and if you have, surely you need a serious reality check], but i can say that, for the first time [ever?], i like myself. and yeah that sounds like some touchy-feely self-help crap, but that’s a big fucking deal for me and i am proud of it.
to everything thing
there is a season
and a time for every purpose, under heaven
and also, i am going to try to start updating more frequently, check back soon.
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